Who can I talk to?
If your pregnancy wasn’t planned, finding out can be a real shock and telling people can seem very scary. But you will need their support and the sooner you tell people the easier it is! Often it’s hard to know if you want to continue with the pregnancy but talking it through with someone you trust can help you make that very difficult decision.
“I was three and a half months pregnant when I found out and I was really shocked. I had been on the pill but I had missed a few pills and that was enough to get pregnant.”Fiona, 16 (daughter aged 5 months)
"I wasn’t using any contraception because I was in a long-term relationship – I knew I didn’t have to worry about STIs and I didn’t think I’d get pregnant. I just thought it can’t happen to me, it won’t happen to me." Jade, 17 (daughter aged 11 months)
Need someone to talk to about pregnancy options?
There may be someone that you trust and feel you can talk to, like a youth worker or a teacher or school nurse. You can also drop in to young people’s centres in the city for free pregnancy testing and confidential help and advice. You can visit:
Morley Street Family Planning Clinic: 01273 242091
The Young People’s Centre (YPC): 01273 887886
The Youth Advice Centre (YAC): 01273 889292
Or check out this site for other local services.
For advice and support in having an abortion, contact Morley Street Family Planning Clinic 01273 242091 or call the British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS) helpline 08457 304 030.
For free, confidential advice for teenagers on any aspect of relationships and sex, call Sexwise: 0800 28 29 30.
Breaking the News
You can keep many things under cover, but having a baby isn’t one of them! Leaving it until later only makes it harder and the sooner you confide in people, the sooner you can have support in preparing for the birth, both emotionally and in terms of your health and the baby’s health. Family or friends may react to news of a pregnancy in different and sometimes surprising ways.
When it comes down to it, who you tell and how you do it is up to you, but here are a few things to think about before you do it…
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Choose your time – be the one to break the news.
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Don’t leave it too long.
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If you can’t face them, write a letter.
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Get someone to support you in telling people: a friend, a family member or a health worker.
Young mum’s advice on breaking the news that you are pregnant…
"JUST DO IT – come out with it. I spilled it out to my mum when she was making the tea. She nearly dropped the saucepan, but she didn’t go mad. She sat down with me and we cried but she was great." Laura, 21 (daughter aged 5).
"I got my best friend’s mum to call home. She said ‘Tara has got something to say to you and I think you need to come over and hear it.’ She was there for my mum and then my mum was there for me." Tara, 16 (son aged 1).
I'm having a baby. What happens now?
Visit your doctor. He/she will make arrangements for the baby’s birth and will be able to explain to you how to take care of your own health while you are pregnant.
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It is important to go for antenatal (before the birth) care regularly from the start of the pregnancy, for your own health, and that of your baby.
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You will be referred to a midwife.
The midwife is a healthcare professional trained to work with a pregnant woman and her family throughout her pregnancy, birth and the early days with a new baby. The midwife checks the health and progress of the woman and baby through the pregnancy.
The midwife can advise about:
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involving both partners in the pregnancy,
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local classes to help parents prepare for the birth and after
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local services, meeting other pregnant women and their partners and where to give birth – in hospital or at home.
In Brighton & Hove, there is a Teenage Pregnancy Liaison Midwife who can offer specialist support for pregnant young women under 19, including a tour of the labour ward and antenatal groups with sessions on labour, feeding, and postnatal (after the birth) care - call or text 07876 35 74 43.
Remember - you are not alone
There are antenatal classes in Brighton & Hove especially for young parents (mums and dads). To find out about antenatal support groups near you check out the services section of the site.
"I went to antenatal classes especially for young women and their partners and they were really good. I really enjoyed the classes; we learnt about labour and what was going to happen and I got to meet everyone else that was expecting. We got baby clothes and a health visitor came in to do a talk and someone told us about first aid. It was good having people come in and getting information." Fiona, 16 (daughter aged 5 months)
"I felt isolated when I was pregnant with Cassidy. I didn’t want to go out because people said stuff and judged me. People would stare and say ‘You’re too young,’ or ‘How are you gonna cope?’ and then they’d tell me pregnancy horror stories. So for most of my pregnancy I sat in at home. I didn’t see my friends any more and the rest of the family were all out at work so I was on my own a lot of the time. I didn’t go to any antenatal classes the first time I was pregnant because I didn’t want to go out of the house but this time I’m more confident about it and I really enjoy going to meet up with other young mums. I think it’s really important to have somewhere to go to get out of the house and know that you’re not alone." Jade, 17 (pregnant & one daughter aged 11 months)
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